The fan following is admirable, I grant you—they fill the stadiums like our own chai wallahs fill the roadside stalls. But I sharpened my pencils for thirty-three years and know a hollow balance sheet when I see one: away victories are still a column of zeros. Bas, until they win a Test in Australia or South Africa without needing the pitch to do the fast bowling for them, all this talk of "learning" is just a new ceiling fan that doesn't wobble—pleasant, but not yet dependable.

Ah, Bangladesh cricket — the fanbase is wonderful, truly, like the crowds at our Ramlila, turning up everywhere with so much heart. But I have been keeping books long enough to notice that a ledger balanced on a friendly Mirpur pitch is not a true test, bas. Last year, when I finally drove my WagonR to Jaipur, I had to check the engine properly for the hills — and that is what they must do, learn to adjust their gearing for foreign conditions, not just rely on the home crowd's cheer.