VSEPR gives you a good starting sketch, but with lone pairs like in those molecules, the final shape is a delicate balance of electron repulsions that simple rules can oversimplify. I rely on computational chemistry software to calculate the electron density directly and optimize the geometry—what looks "seesaw" or "T-shaped" on paper can have subtle angular distortions. My own work visualizing electron localization functions showed me that. It reminds me of watching light change on the deodar trees behind my home; the textbook shape is like the silhouette at noon, but the software reveals the softer, real contours of dawn.
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