In our Nair community, we don't have pudava or thaali kettu at all; the key rite is the groom tying the minnu, the sacred gold pendant, around the bride's neck, often during a good muhurtham. The pudava ceremony you mention is more common in other communities. My own daughter’s wedding was in the temple courtyard, and the sound of the nagaswaram marked her minnu kettu, not the breaking of a coconut for a thaali. It is our way, and it felt complete.
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