年金と税金の相談室

Ah, Tamil films of 2026, huh? My sister at the pharmacy was telling me she already booked tickets for one—she's been saving her chai allowance for weeks. I told her, "Baba, make sure you're not working late that day; Mrs. Fernandes needs her ankle wrapped before her squats, and I can't have you missing the show for my old Bullet's clutch repair bill." But really, I just hope the music's got that old soul, like those Konkani folk songs my father used to hum—none of this loud nonsense that makes the knees hurt worse than my clients'.

I keep seeing these "instant" pension calculators online, and I tell my daughter, *phi dei ban iohi* — you must look. Last week I tried one while waiting for my old valve amp to warm up, and it told me I would be a millionaire by next monsoon. My repair bill said otherwise. Better to trust the long numbers on the paper from the *departmen*, even if they come in an envelope that needs a knife to open.

Arey, this year when I was doing my son's flat savings calculation, I noticed the tax deduction on his insurance premium was less than what the agent promised. So I sat with the form and

Nilekani and his UPI, bhayya—digital payment aindi, but does it put rice on my plate? Last week a customer came, wanted to fix his grandmother's old Philips radio, but he had no cash, only PhonePe; fine, I took it, later the bank cut some fee for 'maintenance'—kastam, naa. They make things smooth for the big fellows, but for us small people, every rupee that goes out of my pocket feels like a thief. I will stick to my chai and my soldering iron; at least that radio will play again without asking for a service charge.

Ammamma was watching some Discovery channel show about Cleopatra last night, and she kept saying the women in those old Egyptian murals had the same golden bangles she got for her wedding. I told her maybe we should check if our old rubber tapping knife has any historical value, and she laughed so hard she forgot to complain about her hip—for ten minutes at least. The pension forms here don’t ask about ancient queens, but I wonder how many poor souls have a grandmother’s jewellery sitting in a steel trunk, never appraised, while the tax office wants its share of everything.

My 'battery-walla bhaiya' spent three months saving receipts for a tax credit the agent said would cover his daughter's school fees — then came back with half the amount because the form wasn't in the right language. The rules are made for people who can pay someone to read them, kem chho bhai, and the rest of us just keep losing our majja. That's the real tax.

Our sports minister was on the radio, talking about medals and new stadiums. I looked at my old postcards, beta—so many bright students from our hills who ran like the wind but had no shoes. If some of that game money could reach the small district grounds first, achha hai.

हमारे यहाँ बिजली का मीटर अभी भी पुराने जमाने का है, और हर महीने बिल आता है तो लगता है जैसे कोई नया टैक्स लग गया हो। पिछले हफ्ते अपनी छत पर लगे पुराने ट्यूबलाइट को ठीक करते हुए सोचा — जिंदगी में कितना कुछ हम ठीक कर लेते हैं, पर पेंशन और टैक्स का हिसाब कभी समझ नहीं आता। मेरी पत्नी कहती है, "बस इतना रख लो कि साल भर में जो कटता है, उसका कुछ वापस मिल जाए तो बहुत है।" और मैं सोचता हूँ, सही है — जो लोगों को बेहतर छोड़े, वही सही रास्ता है, चाहे वो पुराना तरीका हो या नया फॉर्म भरना।

Arre, yeh tax ka mamla bada confusing hai. Kal hi Kanpur se beta phone pe bol raha tha ki "data analysis" course ke liye ₹30,000 registration fee bharna hai—main soch raha hoon ki isse "professional development" mein adjust karein ya nahi? Ledger mein dekha toh pichle saal ka ITR mein koi deduction nahi liya tha. Aap log batao, kya ismein koi pukka rule hai? Mera chai ka thela aur kirane ka hisaab toh seedha hai, par yeh form bharne ka kaam mujhe dimaag ka dahi bana deta hai.

Amari tax form touribe, thawai nakhoi. Last week, one customer escalated to me for a small billing ticket, his voice full of fire. I was thinking, our government also sends us these pension letters, the *ねんきん定期便*, like a quiet bill for our whole life. But who do we escalate that ticket to?

Son's hostel in Guwahati has a tiny TV that only catches Doordarshan sometimes — last night he called and said the hockey girls from Assam are getting no proper gear for the Games, they borrow sticks from the boys' team. In my village, we know how that feels: our tea garden football club once had to play the final with a punctured ball because the committee spent the budget on their own tea party. If you can't give them even a decent stick, don't send them to make us proud — let the ones who can afford their own play for another country, I say.

बापू के पेंशन के फॉर्म में एक गड़बड़ी थी, दो साल से अधिक पेंशन काट रहे थे। मैंने पुराने नियमों की पीडीएफ और उनके बैंक स्टेटमेंट के नंबरों को मिलाकर एक चार्ट बनाया, फिर ऑफिस के चक्कर काटे। आज छोटी जीत मिली – पिछले छह महीने का अतिरिक्त पैसा वापस मिल गया, बस लम्बी प्रक्रिया का इंतज़ार है।

Beta ji used to say, "Sarkar ka koi bhi naya party ho, humara kaam wahi rahega — chhote se kamre mein chashma laga ke form bharna." Tab bhi yahi tha, ab bhi yahi hai. Main apni study table ke upar woh purana transistor rakh leta hoon jab yaad aata hai ki uss saal jis party ne 'nayi soch' ka naara diya tha, usi ne gaon ki bus service band kar di thi. Yahan paranthon ki smell aur fan ki awaaz ke beech, main bas itna jaanta hoon: jo insaan ko rozi-roti se juda kare, uska koi bhi plan — chahe voh khatmal party ho ya cockroach party — bekar hai.

Yaar, this list of 2026 films — all these big-budget announcements, crores flying around, and here I am counting every rupee for my daughter's wedding. The same people who make these films never think about the weaver's thread, bas. And the government? They'll send a pension notice late, but for a film's tax break, they're on time. The real documentary